It comes too easy for me to be in a perpetual state of planning. My day. An idea for a book. How to maximize my ability to serve. How to arrange my work area to best accommodate the reading or writing I “plan” to do. What I can do to be a good friend, good wife, good mother, good child of God. How to begin a blog. Oftentimes I find myself too exhausted from the planning phase to move into actively doing what I’ve spent so much time planning. The underlying reason? Sheer fear. Fear of not performing to a level that meets the expectations I place on myself, expectations that rise above anything I would ever expect from anyone else. Also, fear of failure. After all, I can’t fail in the planning phase, right? Wrong!
We fail when we don’t act according to the gifts God has so generously blessed us with. I still plan my day, but I’ve learned to be more realistic with how many hours are in a day and strive to use those hours wisely. Service work has been chosen by what God has so graciously placed on my heart, a passion for children. Had I not transitioned out of the planning phase, I wouldn’t have attempted NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) this past November, creating the first draft of a novel that’s been burning within me for so long. It would have still been a thought. And I wouldn’t have began this blog, something I’ve spent far too long planning so it would be perfect. But I’ve learned to be a little more gentle with myself. Perfection is no longer a burden I place on myself. Doing my best is good enough. And as long as I do my best, I cannot fail.