When my boys were babies, then toddlers, it never occurred to me that they would ever be anywhere else but home with me. Home where they were safe. No matter what could, or did, happen anywhere else in the universe, at least we were together.
As they found their way into, and through, adolescence, moments of fear began to take its grip, choking my ability to be fully present and enjoy our time together. Rather than trust God to in order to completely enjoy them, I feared that God would take them from me. That fear took me from them.
Having been that fiercely protective mom–okay, I’ll admit some may have called me that “helicopter mom” since I had a tendency to hover–I tried with all my might to protect and buffer them from painful lessons that had I stepped aside, would have had great potential to help them grow into God-fearing, God-dependant young men.
Sometimes it felt like our lives became a yo-yo. Give them to God, take them back, give, take, give…you get the picture. I’m forever grateful He gave.
Despite the sometimes paralyzing fear of losing them, and the raw ache at the thought of having an empty nest, God has used my weakness to grow stronger in Him, teaching me how to not only let go so they could grow, but to learn the power of the simple phrase “Let go and let God.”
He’s teaching me to:
Let go of trying to control every outcome and let God guide the journey instead.
Let go of protecting my family with suffocating persistence and let God protect them by giving Him–and them–the space they need.
Let go of trying to change what is not within my power to change, and let God give me the strength to change what I can. And to know the difference between the two. (The Serenity Prayer)
Let go of trying to force them to understand me and let God work in me to understand them. To truly love them with a love that can only come from Him. Exactly as they are. Exactly where they are.
Let go of the need to orchestrate and plan every moment of my day, and let God lead our day.
Let go of the tendency to regret yesterday or fear tomorrow, and let God help me live fully today. In this exact moment.
Let go of the need for organized perfection, and let God help me find the beauty in the messiness of life.
The messiness that can create a masterpiece. A unique, one-of-a-kind, work of art by the master artist Himself.
Grace to You.