I’ve blogged about this exact thing once before, and as much peace as it brings when I do it, I still don’t seem to practice it nearly enough. Electronics can pull more energy from relationships than they add.
It makes me sad when I see a young child talking to mom or dad who is more connected with their cell phone than with the child. Does that parent know that they can never get that moment back again?
My heart bleeds when I’m at the coffee shop and see a child with mom or dad, the child a happy chatterbox, full of animation, trying to get the attention of the one they look up to and love so much, but mom or dad is too connected to their open laptop to notice.
Or the couple at the table next to me in a restaurant, no conversation to be seen or heard, while one–or both–of them are texting, surfing the Internet on a cell phone, or watching the game on the TV hanging near their table.
And then there’s the occupants of the car next to me at a stoplight, each texting away on their respective cell phones, frequently even the driver.
And what makes my heart bleed even more is the frequency of which I’ve done those things myself without even realizing it.
It’s easy to see more clearly when we’re disconnected from a situation, so to think how much clearer I could see what’s right in front of my own face when I’m disconnected from electronics seems like it should be a no-brainer. And yet, how much time has slipped through my fingers like a fist full of sand, as I fall into the habit of blocking out everything but the empty entertainment of the screen in front of me.
If I could go back and have a “do-over” I would:
Leave the cell phone at home when taking my kids on an outing. I would watch them take in their surroundings, watching as they see things for the first time, rather than see something on the screen of my cell phone for the umpteenth time.
I would sit on the floor playing with my children, rather than sit there watching a television program while they played around me.
I would read a book to them, engaging them in the story, rather than let them live their story without me present to watch.
I would listen intently to how their day was, their experiences, hopes and dreams, rather than listen to how the world was on the news, letting them know they are my world.
I would let them know that what they said truly mattered, more than anything in the world, as I gave them my undivided attention, listening to what they had to say rather than say “I’m busy. Can we talk later?” Later may not come.
I would stop cleaning, cooking, playing a game on the computer or watching TV to simply be with them, 100% present.
If the phone was ringing, or beeping with an incoming text message, during a conversation with a loved one, or while spending quiet time together, I would let it ring without answering it, or even a sneak peak at the text message, letting my loved one know their presence is more important to me than the phone.
Rather than run back in the house two seconds after leaving to get the forgotten cell phone, I would run back in to give the forgotten hug or say the forgotten “I Love You” to the loved one remaining behind.
When I’m on a date with my husband, I would leave my phone at home, or tucked away in my purse, letting him know the time I spend with him is valuable to me.
And while I can’t go back and start over, getting back time that has past, it’s never too late to start over. Right. Now. While I can’t start the day over, I can start over anytime during the day. And that is a blessing I intend to take advantage of, practicing until it becomes more the norm than not.