Come Here to share your stories.
Come Here to share your stories.
Why is it that we often don’t realize how much a person means to us until they’re taken from us. Whether it be a move, an illness, life getting in the way keeping two people apart, or death, it’s not until the person is gone, the relationship as we knew it changed forever, that we wish we would have known, would have had some warning, and we stop and wonder what happened. And then in moves the destructive visitor of regret. Sometimes he stays for a moment, sometimes a day, sometimes weeks, months, or even years.
I’ve lost too many people who are important to me, from my grandparents (one grandmother in particular) to my step-daughter to several friends. And each time I look back and wish I would have done something different, said something different, or didn’t say or do something that I did, or simply wish I’d taken more time to give them. Each time I’m haunted by the moments these precious people wanted to spend time with me but I didn’t take the time to give them. And how, afterwards, when it was too late, I’d give anything for another chance, because I would make the time.
When someone wants to spend time with you, it’s an honor. A privilege. A compliment.
It’s all too easy to ponder the moments when that harsh word was spoken instead of being patient, when annoyances caused a hard heart and deaf ears, when things in life that don’t matter stole time right out from under us robbing us from what does matter, and guilt moves in to reside alongside regret.
Guilt and regret will destroy you if it’s given so much as a foothold.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned during the most recent brutal cycle of beating myself up after learning a dear friend has cancer that has spread significantly, is that I’m strong enough to not allow guilt and regret to hold me hostage. There’s no room for them at the Inn. Instead, I can let the past be the past, learn to be a better, more loving person, honor her by living a life of humility and kindness that she’s shown me, and devote time to help her travel her difficult journey.
No matter how devastating the curveball life throws at you, the best thing you can do is learn the lesson if there’s one to be learned. Get back to making room and time for the people in your life by re-evaluating your priorities. Wake up each morning with a renewed promise to live a life of love and service. Each day is another opportunity to love, be kind to others, and let the people in your life know you love them. Don’t hesitate to give that hug, make that phone call, say that “I love you.” It’s never too late to show the people who are important to you just how important they are.
The only way to make sure you’re happy is to love and care for others, even when they don’t do the same. Spread love in the ways you know how, because the love you give is its own reward.
― Connor Chalfant
We’ve all heard of The Golden Rule:
While the idea is good to shoot for, it may not be good enough.
Simply stated, we can be harder on ourselves than anyone else is. We’re often our own worst enemy, constantly reminding ourselves of where we fall short, where we fail. This, in turn, can cause us to be more intolerant of other’s shortcomings, because we expect from others what we, ourselves, cannot even do to our own standards. And yet, ironically, we treat others better than we treat ourselves.
The other day when I was driving home from work there was car in front of me going sooooo sllooowww. Not only was this person driving slowly, s/he stopped for yellow lights, then allowed not one car from an incoming street to go in front of him/her, but two. Impatient to get home, to put the work day behind me, I was having all kinds of negative conversations with myself about the driver of this vehicle.
When I was finally able to pull into the next lane, I drove up next to the car, wanting to see the driver, sure s/he was talking on a cell phone rather than pay attention to the road. To my surprise, it was an elderly woman. A slightly confused elderly woman. Thankfully, she was oblivious to my impatience.
I felt oh, so small. I would be heartbroken if that woman had been my mother and someone else was as impatient and intolerant as I had been. God taught me a lesson in judging and patience that day.
On another occasion this past week, a young man called me at work. He was confused about his legal situation and I had to repeat three times the process of what he needed to do. I found myself getting impatient, but God’s voice spoke above my impatience. A little voice in my head asked, “What if this was your son calling, needing help with a process that’s confusing to someone not in the justice system, even if he needed to hear it three times?” My heart softened and I found patience I didn’t know I had, as I had to repeat the process yet another two times, wanting to be sure he understood completely before we disconnected.
How people treat me doesn’t affect me as much as how they treat my loved ones. I want my loved ones treated with love, with respect, with patience. In fact, when I’m mistreated I get over it. But seeing my loved ones mistreated? Well, that breaks my heart in two.
God spoke to me in a way I could hear loud and clear.
The Golden Rule I now strive to live by has changed a bit.