My One Word

Kindness

As the New Year approaches–much too quickly, I must add–I’ve been preparing for, and contemplating, my one word for 2018. My One Word is an experiment developed by Mike Ashcraft and Rachel Olsen to help people get past the disappointment of not being able to keep News Years Resolutions.

I used to be one of those that set New Years Resolutions with all the best intentions and, each year determined that “I was going to make it this year.” I was lucky if I ever made it to the end of January. Of course, the type of New Years Resolutions I set was a problem, too. The expectations I had for myself exceeded what was humanly possible.

From there I tried New Years Goals. For these goals I lighted up a bit, lowered my expectations to a human level, but still was unable to keep them. Once again, the type of goals I set, despite being on a human level, were still based on extremely high expectations. Since then I’ve learned to set bite-sized goals. Along with that change, I don’t hold myself accountable to flawlessly execute each goal the entire year. I’ve learned to give myself permission to mess up. Messing up doesn’t mean I’ve failed. Getting back on track after I’ve messed up means I’ve succeeded.

In the middle of these transitions, I came across My One Word. I’ve incorporated this genius idea into my goals. The concept is to decide upon a single word that signifies something you would like to work on throughout the year. In the past I’ve chosen Grace, Silence, Love, and Risk. My One Word for 2018 is…

 Kindness text

How can one go wrong with Kindness. And practicing it daily can only bring positive results.

I would love to hear if you decide to use the My One Word challenge for 2018, if you have used it in the past, or if you were to implement it, what word would you choose?

Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.
― Henry James

 

The Golden Rule

We’ve all heard of The Golden Rule:
e2809cdo-unto-others-as-you-would-have-them-do-unto-you-e2809d.png
While the idea is good to shoot for, it may not be good enough.

Simply stated, we can be harder on ourselves than anyone else is. We’re often our own worst enemy, constantly reminding ourselves of where we fall short, where we fail. This, in turn, can cause us to be more intolerant of other’s shortcomings, because we expect from others what we, ourselves, cannot even do to our own standards. And yet, ironically, we treat others better than we treat ourselves.

  • Thin people sometimes see someone overweight looking back at them in the mirror.
  • We’re not smart enough or pretty enough. We don’t do enough or have enough. We’re simply not enough.
  • We say things we wish we wouldn’t have, do things we wish we could erase, and beat ourselves up when we can’t.
  • We feel we don’t deserve happiness, forgiveness, or peace, because of what we’ve done in the past.

The other day when I was driving home from work there was car in front of me going sooooo sllooowww. Not only was this person driving slowly, s/he stopped for yellow lights, then allowed not one car from an incoming street to go in front of him/her, but two. Impatient to get home, to put the work day behind me, I was having all kinds of negative conversations with myself about the driver of this vehicle.

When I was finally able to pull into the next lane, I drove up next to the car, wanting to see the driver, sure s/he was talking on a cell phone rather than pay attention to the road. To my surprise, it was an elderly woman. A slightly confused elderly woman. Thankfully, she was oblivious to my impatience.

I felt oh, so small. I would be heartbroken if that woman had been my mother and someone else was as impatient and intolerant as I had been. God taught me a lesson in judging and patience that day.

On another occasion this past week, a young man called me at work. He was confused about his legal situation and I had to repeat three times the process of what he needed to do. I found myself getting impatient, but God’s voice spoke above my impatience. A little voice in my head asked, “What if this was your son calling, needing help with a process that’s confusing to someone not in the justice system, even if he needed to hear it three times?” My heart softened and I found patience I didn’t know I had, as I had to repeat the process yet another two times, wanting to be sure he understood completely before we disconnected.

How people treat me doesn’t affect me as much as how they treat my loved ones. I want my loved ones treated with love, with respect, with patience. In fact, when I’m mistreated I get over it. But seeing my loved ones mistreated? Well, that breaks my heart in two.

God spoke to me in a way I could hear loud and clear.

The Golden Rule I now strive to live by has changed a bit. e2809cdo-unto-others-as-you-would-have-them-do-unto-your-loved-ones-e2809d.png

Faith in Humanity

Love One Another

As news channels cover the heartbreaking devastation that Hurricane Harvey left in its wake in Houston, Texas, followed closely by Hurricane Irma in Florida, there was a message that spoke louder than the news anchors I listened to.

That message?  How tragedy can bring a country together.

For far too long, anytime I turned on the news it spewed about all the hatred and divisiveness of our people. You name it, people were hating. Whether it be race, sexual orientation, gender identification, political beliefs, personal beliefs, job choice and the action it requires, misuse of power and those not allowed to use their power…well, I could go on and on. With each broadcast, the news seems to polarize our country with half-truths, pitting people against one another. It had gotten to a point where I was seriously wondering if we, as a country, could ever turn things around again. All the hatred was suffocating everything good.

Listening to the news about the hurricanes, I finally felt a glimmer of hope for our nation and the amazing people who live here. My faith in humanity has been restored. As I hear the countless stories of individuals sacrificing what they have for the needs of those who lost, companies offering time, money, and resources to help a fellow man/woman/child/city/state, and friends and family reaching out to their loved ones in the affected cities, I see God at work. In fact, it occurred to me that this is what Christianity looks like.

  • Unselfish acts of helping another.
  • Accepting and loving, rather than judging, regardless of whether you agree with someone or not.
  • Tolerating others’ views and opinions, different as they may be from yours, accepting that your way isn’t the only way. Even proclaimed Christians have destroyed one another due to intolerance.
  • Forgive even when you don’t “feel” like it. You’ll “feel” so much better after you do!
  • Being of service to others, whether it be time in your already busy life, money that you don’t have in excess, services that you can provide to those who can’t.
  • Being a prayer warrior for those who so desperately need it.
  • Taking just a moment to write a letter of encouragement to someone who feels hopeless and alone.
  • Bringing a meal to someone who doesn’t have the physical capability or the resources to make their own.
  • Putting others needs before your wants.
  • Spend time, even if just an hour, with someone who doesn’t have anyone.

Simply stated…

Love

Above all else, love. The rest will fall into place. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we turned on the news and we heard more stories of love and hope? Stories of  people pulling for each other instead of battling against each other. Stories of people loving one another rather than killing? Stories of people accepting one another’s differences rather than hating because of them?

It IS possible. It CAN be done. But only if we all do our part. Time is at our advantage if we start NOW.

What can YOU do, TODAY, to start a revolution of loving one another?

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
― Desmond Tutu

▶ 4:42

 

 

 

“K” is for…

Kindness

I read a post yesterday on a blog I follow, In Her Words Avenue, and it reminded me of an incident that happened several years ago that, each time I think of it, reminds me never to underestimate the power of kindness.  Its ripple effect travels endlessly.

When my grandfather was lying in a hospital bed, the angel of death at his door, family members surrounded him as he breathed his last few breaths.  My grandfather was  the pillar, the cornerstone, of our family, and his death left a huge void in each of our hearts.

The deacon’s wife from my grandpa and grandma’s church, such a kind, warm-hearted woman, stayed with our family offering comfort in presence and in kind words. And I will never forget her words.  My grandpa’s name was Vince, and she said ever so gently, “The bus to heaven was coming through town, there was one seat available, and Vince was chosen for that last seat to heaven.”

Wow! Hearing my grandfather was on his way to heaven brought a blanket of peace.  I had not a single doubt that my grandpa would go to heaven, the God-loving, God-honoring man that he was, so it’s not that I needed to hear someone say it, but the validation in this kind woman’s words was music to my soul.

To this day, her words and her kindness  echo through my life when I least expect it.  She made a difference to a grieving family that day and long afterward.

That evening on her way home from the hospital, the deacon’s wife was in a car accident and went Home to her Lord.  The same Lord that so mercifully and lovingly sent her to comfort our family in our time of grief. He knew we needed her.

There wasn’t just one seat left on that bus, but two.  And I can just imagine my grandfather escorting her through the gates of heaven.

Today I’ve been encouraged to re-commit to making it a daily practice to live more intentionally, making it a point to say at least one kind thing to someone every day.

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”                     -Scott Adams (1957)

Peace.